Grandma Jones passed away today, which is a very mixed blessing. She had been in a lot of pain and very uncomfortable and anxious for awhile. Last Wednesday, she had a major heart attack which affected the rest of her body's functioning as well. Doctors called the family in last Wednesday expecting her not to make it through that day. This past week, she was in hospice care which kept her comfortable while honoring the stipulations of her living will.
Lots of family and friends were able to visit with her and say goodbye. I had about 30 hours with her which seems so short now that I know it was the last time I'll ever had with her. The time was good though, and I'm so thankful that we were able to say goodbye and love on her during her last days. All three of her children have been in Spartanburg with her during her last days, which I know was very special to her. Also, all five of her granddaughters were together (for the first time in a very long while!) this past Sunday while we spent time loving on her in her hospice room.
The very sad part is that she's really gone now. No more silly Grandma time.
When I stayed with her this past Saturday night, I was journaling my feelings. I felt selfish for wanting to have more time with her and selfish for wanting God to call her home so that she would no longer suffer. His timing is perfect though, and for whatever reason, he took her today, very peacefully.
The reality of losing her hasn't hit completely yet. At this point, I find myself looking forward to hearing lots of good stories about her life and having time with family and friends who will be gathered to celebrate her life. I'm sure I'll write more later.
We'll miss you, Grandma Jones!