Thursday, December 3, 2009

Baby Fever!

I think it's official that I have caught 'baby fever'. For a couple of months now, the sight of friends' babies' pictures or notes about them or mostly anything related to babies either results in joy, or an ache in my chest, or tears of some other kind. It's not a sad kind of baby fever, but an expectant one. When will it be our turn?

Today, my mom texted me about whether I knew anyone who wanted a hand-me-down highchair and booster seat, and I wanted to be like, 'well, I'll need it eventually'. But I didn't want to be selfish about something that may be several years away or may never happen. Instead, we claimed it for our closest, first-baby-producing friends, the Severes. :)

We are definitely in the stage of life where there are more babies than brides and expectancies than engagements. Lots of friends ask us regularly when it will be our turn. We're definitely not opposed to the idea, but I, personally, find myself very concerned about what other people will think. Especially because we do not 'have it all together' in several areas of life right now.

Don't want to get too personal, but I would like some of your thoughts on some of these thoughts.

1) 'If you wait until you have enough money, you will never have kids.' The ol' cliche.

2) What is really considered 'trying'? Just no contraceptive, being super intentional with timing?

3) Jobs/childcare: how much do you consider these things before 'trying' (whatever that means)

4) Mom's pre-conception health. Obviously, I'm overweight, and this concerns me. I have gotten clearance from my doc, but I still have concerns. I find myself comparing myself a lot to pregnant women that I see. (Did you know there's a tv show called 'overweight & pregnant'? --I haven't brought myself to watch it yet, but my sister says every woman on there is different.)

5) Finding out the gender. Matt and I disagree on this issue in a HUGE way. (I think this is something we could decide on later, but what do you think?)Look forward to hearing your thoughts! Feel free to respond on here or by email. And please feel free to be honest as well. That's the point of this whole thing. :)

4 comments:

  1. 1. We definitely don't have enough money. The amount "they" say it takes to raise a kid is ridiculous. Especially considering we will be basically jobless for our daughter's first year of life. We worry about that a lot but try to replace our worry with prayer.

    2. Trying...my definition of trying is no contraceptive and timing the lovely cycles. Most before define trying as just no contraceptives.

    3. Our original child bearing plan was to wait until Steven was done with seminary so that I could work til then. However we decided not to wait til then AND I won't be working. Personal decision there. I just can't do daycares, not to mention they are expensive.

    4. I was/am overweight too as a pregnant woman. The good thing is you technically shouldn't gain as much pregnancy weight which means less to lose. So we'll see how that goes. And breastfeeding if you choose to do that. Burns 500 calories a day. Whoa.

    5. Our good friends didn't find out the gender and it turned out fine. They just bought gender neutral stuff still cute. We had to find out. I am impatient and wanted to be able to refer to the baby as he or she and not it or the baby. Plus I love that she already has a name for me to say aloud. That is totally a personal decision.


    And there are my thoughts. Hope a little of it is helpful. Oh and by the way I totally understand the baby fever. I think I cried on two occasions when I found out friends of ours were pregnant. Of course I was happy for them but wanted it to be me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hope you don't mind me chiming in on this discussion. :)

    1. I think it is true that if you wait until you have "enough" money, or feel completely "ready" then you most likely never will. I think it is wise to be in a stable financial position first (i.e. place to live, meeting your bills, job, etc) - but also remember that things tend to have a miraculous way of working out. I believe that it takes a lot of faith to bring children into this world and the Lord blesses us for our efforts to give His children a good home.

    2. I've never thought of defining "trying" - but I'd say no contraceptive and wanting it to happen. Keeping track of cycles helps, too. :)

    3. We decided from the beginning that I would try to stay home with our kids as much as I could. Again, this is something we undertook with prayer - that is what we wanted and we had to have faith that things would work out (even when money seemed impossibly tight). It's a personal decision, though. I know tons of great moms who have gone back to work, for whatever reason. Things work out.

    4. My view is that if you have clearance from your Dr. and you are committed to good prenatal care (following Dr. advice, etc), then you are good to go!! :)

    5. Zac and I disagreed on finding out baby gender before we got pregnant (he wanted to, I didn't). Then I decided that was something we could compromise on (and I knew he couldn't find out and keep it from me!) and I have really loved knowing the gender beforehand!! It makes planning (clothes, bedding, etc) easier, and name-choosing. And also sometimes that extra time to get used to the idea of a boy or girl is helpful. :)

    Anyway - good luck to you!!
    Some of the best advice I ever received was that the decision of when to have kids, or how many kids, or whatever, is between you, your husband and the Lord. No one else.
    And really what anyone else thinks doesn't matter.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't know if you want my advice on anything about kids, because we got pregnant totally by accident without thinking any of this through. :) But here goes anyway...

    1. Money Shmoney. In my opinion, as long as you have a roof over your heads and food to eat and are able to continue to provide these things for your family, you're ready to have kids. Seriously, how much money is "enough money"? And honestly, babies don't cost that much money in the beginning, especially if you're breast-feeding!

    2. Again, we didn't "try" at all. We were using contaception, and I was just about to start the pill, but apparently God wanted us to have a baby RIGHT THEN! :) If we were going to do it again, we would just be intentional about cycles, timing, etc. and drop all contraception.

    3. When we got pregnant, we talked SO MUCH about whether or not I would work and, if so, how much. Then once we found out that my job was supportive of our plan, we budgeted accordingly. I think you just need to decide whether you want to be home with the baby and then make a budget that works based on that decision. I personally couldn't bear the thought of daycare, but that's totally a personal decision. And trust me, once you hold your child for the first time, you won't want to EVER leave him to go to work! :)

    4. I have no idea about this issue. I'd just talk with your doctor and with an OBGYN to get their opinion.

    5. We found out the gender just because I could not possibly wait to be surprised. :) It also helped to have a name, to think of him as "Eli" isntead of "the baby." :) But it's just a total personal decision- no right or wrong. It sounds fun to be surprised, but I just couldn't wait that long. :)

    "Baby fever" is so real right now to people in our age group. I'll pray that you have total peace as you wait on the Lord for HIS timing!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Having a baby is wonderful! All the things that you worry about while trying to have one, during pregnancy, and after the beatiful baby gets here are just the things that come along with it. If you didn't worry about these things, you probably wouldn't be normal.
    1. We struggled a lot with this but somehow things always seems to work themselves out. I personally never think one is completely financially stable to have children so why wait.
    2.Trying to me would be no contraceptive and timing however our idea of trying and my bodies idea of trying were totally opposite. When you decide to start trying, my biggest piece of advice would be to not stress over it. Sometimes you have to try for awhile and sometimes you don't. I think stressing about it makes it harder to conceive.
    3.We talked about those things alot. I was lucky enough to never have to have a full time job with Olivia and wanted to be able to do the same thing with the next. Budgeting is necessary and makes it easier whatever you decide. Daycare is really expensive so if you decide to work make sure you'll make enough to justify spending $600/mth on it.
    4.I also worried about this. I was much much smaller when I got pregnant with Olivia and gained 70lbs that I couldn't get rid of so I started out overweight the second time around. Being overweight, the doctor just expected me to gain much less weight which I did. I actually lost weight in the beginning. As long as you're healthy in every other aspect, go for it.
    5.I couldn't imagine going 9 months without knowing what the little one was. Knowing the gender to me made it so more real. I was able to call him by name rather than neutral nicknames. Besides, there aren't many neutral clothing options these days. Some people however like the element of the surprise!
    Hope these help. Remember not to stress about it. Things have a way of working themselves out and when its your time, it will happen! You will make a wonderful mother!

    ReplyDelete