Saturday, March 17, 2012

Confession: "If God had meant for you to have children..."

Someone said to us last night, "If God had meant for you to have children, He would have given you children."

Please understand that this person didn't say it to be rude or mean-spirited.  I believe he/she was saying it out of a place of hurt in his/her own life.

To be perfectly honest, I have had that thought myself a time or two over the years.  Many times I have asked God if He wants us to be parents.  I have wondered if we have not been able to get pregnant because He doesn't have parenthood in His plan for us. 

I don't want to embark on this calling of parenthood without Him, so if He didn't plan it for us, I don't want it.  It has been a journey of getting to a place where I can say that. 

Thankfully, we KNOW we are called to be parents.  We know God has called us to adopt our first child.  Just like I knew I was called to be Matt's wife.  God has prepared us for this in many, many ways.  

Does it mean we make some sacrifices? Absolutely.  Does it mean life will look different for us than some other families?  Definitely.  Does it mean that this is not God's plan for us?  Absolutely not

God DOES mean for us to have children.  He is preparing a child for us right now.  And He's preparing us to be the parents we are meant to be.  Part of that process has been fully embracing our call to adopt instead of having biological children.   

Thank you all for your sweet comments and messages in response to my Facebook post.  God has used you to reaffirm what He had already written across our hearts.  He is good! 

[Also, we love having conversations about this process and this calling.  If you have questions, please feel free to get in touch with us.]


  1. That is the cutest picture! Laura Story's "Blessings" certainly comes to mind when I think about these issues. Larry Crabb's book Shattered Dreams also comes to mind. I am thinking about a verse that I read the other day where God looked down on the Israelites, saw them in captivity in Egypt, and He was saddened by their plight. It amazes me that God, omnipotent, can be both heart broken and all powerful. The past few years of my own life have been filled with pain and triumph, and I have begun to understand the reality that God truly does have a plan, even when that plan involves heartache and pain. When you guys hold that newly adopted one, I think the whole picture will be more complete!

  2. Wow, what a great attitude you have. I think I might have just run out of the room crying. Infertility doesn't remotely compare with single-wanting-to-be-married, but people say similar things. Just hard to hear in the midst.

    Love you girl.